Chris Cuomo is one of the best in interviews and GMA-type pieces. I admire him as a person and as a television personality. He has an excellent moral compass and a wonderful tender heart. If he were not on GMA I am not sure I would watch it. You really get a sense that he cares about the issues and the stories he covers. In addition he works to be fair and keeps his own feelings out of his interviews and reporting....unless you know what to look for. His championing of issues of faith are so compelling. I am grateful I have him on my follow list on Twitter and I am very grateful for the interaction we occassionally have. He is the greatest.

He receives a lot of uncalled for criticism for some of the statements he makes on behalf of ABC, and GMA. Today he explained that he has to keep his own opinions out of the limelight which surrounds him. Some people are trying to make him accountable for stories appearing on GMA. He explains that he only reads the news sometimes or makes comments as required on stories appearing on the show. When he speaks on Twitter, he speaks for himself. When he speaks on GMA or ABC News, he is not representing himself or his own views. I accept that on face value and continue to admire, respect and enjoy him. I invite you to do the same.

Random Thoughts frm Twitter

Dear Family and Friends:

McCain is saying he supports the surge as outlined by Obama but he does not support the hard-sounding end date for withdrawal. That's ok, he supported the surge as outlined by Bush but did not support paying for it. We fought a long and costly war for a people who seemed not to appreciate our sacrifice (bunch of waring tribesman and Islamic factions!) and Bush and McCain kept wanting to cut taxes. I know they intended to pay for the war by contributions from the Iraqi oil and that was all well and good, but someone needed to kick our intelligence people in the pants for having such bad info to dispense. WMD? SURE! People will follow us as liberators? SURE! Shall I go on???? Well, when none of that was happening, we were kind of in it and we had to figure out a way to nation build and get ourselves out of it. That was going to mean tax hikes to pay for the war. How high was the national debt when we left? What idiot let THAT happen? Let us not let that happen again!

So....we lent out all this money to keep the banks and others from failing and now they are doing so great that they can give their exec's bonuses higher than many small businesses make in a year. How can we allow that? When we, the people, are their creditors and they took our money then why can't we make some demands on them and recoop some of our loses. By taking tax payer money they were basically admitting to bankruptcy. I believe the we, the people have a right to make some "suggestions" which THEY, the debtor ought to follow. Without us they would be going under. Without THEM, we the US of A, supposedly would have gone under. I think we need to come to some understandings between us as to how things are going to go, but one of them certainly must be that 200 million people should not be upset about how their money is being spent. It certainly is a hardship on people out of work and with no health insurance to watch the big bucks be given to these guys who live like sultans and their cronies.

Celebrities who are high profile, at that, need to accept what goes with the territory. I really enjoy watching Tiger on the golf course, and I think he is a great guy off. However when he pulls out at 2:30 in the morning and runs into a tree and destroys a fire hydrant then there ensues the circus where his wife runs out with a club and breaks the back window so she can get him out of the car, etc etc etc..... This deserves the answers the public is asking: What was he doing out driving like that at 2am and what got him to have that accident close to his very own driveway? If it was a Cadillac malfunction, I think the people should know. If he was not drinking, then why was he not in control of himself and the car?

I really don't care if he is having an affair or not. That is his own business and between himself and his wife, but I think he needs to make himself more credible and understandible than he has. He needs to come clean enough so that he seems human and not this great mystery.....that he isn't!

Healthcare Revisited

I have to agree with Joe Scarborough, host of MSNBC's Morning Joe. The Democrats have no one to blame but themselves. They have a majority in both houses, a very popular president in office but their enemies are basically in their own "house." President Obama is doing a good job of representing the party, but his own people are preventing him from leading. Somebody needs to open a door for him, and help him to garner support from the right people and to ogranize in an effective way. Why aren't the democratic leaders (majority leaders and committee chairpeople) standing up and supporting him instead of putting out arguments which cause contention and weaken his support base and instead give him something to lead with! When healthcare gets defeated, it will not be because it is a bad idea or that Obama or the Democrats don't have a plan, even a good plan. It will be because the party in power has too many turncoats and gainsayers within its ranks.



The Republicans NOT in power have used their contentious spirit which they have polished over the past 8 to 16 years or more, to whip up the doubts and fears amongst the American people to a fever pitch. Now, they are helping to bring out the worst of the party in power. The issue, as I see it, is that the American people have been made afraid(by Republicans) that they cant trust their elected government to come up with a healthcare plan. Obama is trying to use his rock star status (quickly waning) to bring up moral support for his thoughts on the issues of Healthcare. There is a real problem in that the people have been de-focused from real issues and focused on this issues of their fears and the hob goblins the Republicans have set up before them.

The most basic need in this country's healthcare system is to cover those without care. I heard one of my relative say that he thought you could just go into a hospital and tell them you needed care and couldn't pay them. They would be obligated to treat you and later you could then decide on paying them as you could. He thought the healthcare system was doing just fine and needed no reform! There is a clear lack of understanding of how this whole thing works on HIS part, obviously....but still something needs to be done and nothing is being done....FAST!!

How about we start with the uninsured. Let's make a blanket statement that every American has to have medical insurance of some kind as well as prescription coverage. That leaves all those Americans who want to keep what they have on their own and only makes us consider those who have NO insurance. That also leaves out the "under insured" but they have not spoken up and so we leave them alone. We have to appease those who are yelling about getting healthcare support and reform. We also have a responsibility to take care of those who cannot take care of themselves...what are Republicans proposing for THEM? I propose that we have that public option for those who have no healthcare. We also mandate that employers keep covering the employees they are now covering. There. See how easy that is? Then we extend Medicare to all who have no healthcare and pay for it by tabacco and alcohol taxes. Anything we can do to move funds where it should be going. Taxes we are already collecting for any kind of health hazzard should be included in the pot. i know we have people in Washington who can figure this stuff out if they would get their heads out of somewhere they don't belong and their hands out of Lobbiest pockets.

Let us work together. I don't know if my ideas have any merit, but all I hear is that the president doesn't have a plan but the president's plan won't work. The Democrats are trying to bancrupt the country and kill off the Insurance companies, small business and run everybody to public healthcare. Another one of my relatives told me that she was afraid of losing her job! Negative, negative, negative. Can we please make it work this time?

I went to my doctor for a regular visit and when I got the bill it was over $100! A year ago it was $50. We can't afford Healthcare like that!

Afghanistan & the Islamic world

World and Ancient History is my thing....what I studied in college. I also love comparative religions and the cultures that they inspire. Therefore I am somewhat familiar with the Arab and the Islamic world. They are rich in heritage, traditions, and of course, their faith. They look back to the Crusades and the atrocities and suffering they endured at the hands of the west, but the West grew up! They are still living in the 12th Century! They have reason to mistrust America and the West, but they have extremists who work to undermine peace and offers of help because of the 12th Century. Now admittedly some of my ancestors rode and fought in those Crusades, others of my noble and royal house sent those Crusades out (King John). However, I want the west to be able to help Israel, Iraq, Pakistan, and Afghanistan. We have much that we can learn from each other....but they have to stop fighting us and just regulate their contact with us. I have no doubt that they need protection from certain elements and segments of the west, but they need to stop hating because of the deeds of the past (centuries back).

Seems to me that things are getting out of hand. The Shiite/Sunni conflict is destroying their chance at democracy. Of course, they don't seem to be ready for democracy. They don't see how it works in Saudi Arabia and in Turkey. They would like more of a Sadam Hussein type leader except one who would be more generous and kind. Won't work like that. They are ruining their culture and stopping its progress on the world stage. It seems to me that the Western world is pretty well civilized but the Islamic world, as well as most of Asia is falling into chaos!

I wish they would get it together and become peaceful nations and progressive cultures. Is there a chance?

Healthcare, worthy of the row that we have?

Republicans said they knew they would not win the defeat of now Justice Sonia Sotomayor but they wanted it to be a “teaching moment.” I suppose that means that they wanted to get their issues and opinions out during the conformation process. We all should know that Justices serve for an indefinite term and frequently vote their heart and mind and not the views they were confirmed to support. It is amazing how that works….usually for the good. We will see how her decisions go. She was nominated to replace a justice thought to be a liberal influence and thus the Devil’s appointee to the mind of Republican/Conservatives (are there any Republican/Liberals?). It may be seen that she will decide on behalf of the law and the constitution with a little cultural insight thrown in.

There is precedent for cultural influence on the Court. Take any issue of cultural passion and follow it thru the centuries. Slavery and women’s right’s to vote and work to name just two, are decisions pronounced and later reversed according to popular beliefs. I can’t see any remedy for that but we cannot panic over a decision by Ms Sotomayor seemingly with cultural bias.

On to healthcare: That issue has become a firestorm with flames fanned by conservatives who are trying to defeat a Democratic congress and president and not to discuss the issues and work out a workable and livable plan for healthcare reform. The firestorm, created by the Republicans, is claimed by them as a sign that the people are behind them. It is SOOOOO transparent! To parody the Fox News slogan: “Fair and Balanced” is what was wanted, unfair and unbalanced is what we got. President Obama wanted Dems and Reps to get together and come up with a good plan. The president said what his parameters would be but then turned it over to Congress to come up with a plan like that or another plan they thought was better. Congress turned into a cage of animals feuding and marking their own territory. They raged and shouted, accomplishing nothing. Republicans, all thru the campaign were nasty and plotting. John McCain was not, but his campaign workers were. Now the administration is continuing to fight to overcome the wrath and venom of Conservatives who want nothing more than the defeat and humiliation of the President of the United States. It is a tragedy!

THIS should be a teaching moment. There should be non-partisan discussions of how we make a good plan. Conservatives seem to only want reform of regulations on the insurance industry. It seems that they want the insurance industry (the fox) to be involved in the reform process (in the hen house). The Democrats understand that a more radical surgery on the system is needed – BADLY. The most radical thing proposed is the “Public Option” that will be a government funded and regulated option if the Private and Commercial Options (what we have now) do not supply the needs of the poor or the dissatisfied of the population. The Conservatives are furious over the cost of the plan on top of the current stimulus plans. However, instead of working on a plan to manage the debt or create an option to cover the uninsured or underinsured Americans without raising the national debt they choose to promote a shouting match purporting to represent the majority of Americans. An oft quoted proverb: “Vox populi, vox Dei” does not mean it is best. If you follow the roots of that proverb it comes from Isa 66:6. It is criticizing the acceptance of the voice (noise) of the people versus the other voices mentioned. Sometimes we have to consider that the people may not have been exposed to all the information and have not been educated concerning all the issues and ramifications of things. Their priorities are their wallets and purses, alone. They want police, public works and teachers but don’t want to pay for them. Politicians work on their re-elections at the cost of the people’s needs. There needs to be “stewards” in America: statesmen who will be upright, of good character and full of charisma, to lead the people to a better America. So far we have bad tempered children who fight amongst themselves and create chaos and broken systems and then blame someone else for the ills of the nation. It has got to change! THIS is the teaching moment, NOT Justice Sotomayor!

My family hasn’t had insurance for 10 years. My diabetes has advanced and I am now disabled. With insurance I probably would still be working. My wife, without insurance had a stroke and was also diagnosed with high blood pressure and diabetes. She is also disabled, but until a fall last year was working a few hours a week. She is now recovering from that fall and surgery on her shoulder. With insurance she most likely would not have had that stroke and would have had her diabetes under control. We have suffered from great debt trying to take care of ourselves. We need help because we are unable to help ourselves. How many others are uninsured or underinsured who need help from somewhere? What are those of us to do?

Medicare finally covers me and my wife because of our “disability status” so we are not yet suffering from our current needs. Who knows if that will change? Medicare is an inadequate and corrupt system I am told…..so FIX it! The system purports to cover a group of a multitude of senior citizens and disabled people. It should be extended to cover all of the needy. The Veterans Administration is also a government run system and it runs pretty well….make it BETTER! The U.S. Military has doctors and hospitals who serve all in domestic as well as far flung places, and does it pretty well I understand. Figure out how we can use the techniques and methods to get civilians the same kind of care. These are the issues that need to be discussed and voted upon. Sure the funding is a horrible roadblock. So work on what to do about it, not draw lines in the sand to make negotiation difficult or impossible. We have got to talk civilly and effectively on a bi-partisan level.

So far we are not doing that and it is polarizing the people as well as the Congress to the point of a stand still or ending up with a debacle of at least inadequate or worse situation than we have. What say we quit feuding or being political as we are and reform our healthcare system to something that will work and that we can pay for. Everyone should be taken care of, be able to afford it and access it. The government should be able to afford it and keep tabs on it so that it works. I KNOW we have smart people in Washington SOMEWHERE! If not I know a few reporters, anchormen, and commentators who are a lot smarter than people I have heard talking who hold office!

Politics today seems to be a yelling match of opposing opinions! Originally in this country, politicians were elected (IE: hired) to represent their constituents. It was considered that the common people were not competent to represent themselves in a pure democracy so a “representative democracy” was formed by electing the rich, the famous, the prominent and others of such standing who were the brightest and best to understand issues and make decisions. Today we are no longer a nation of illiterate, uneducated, and isolated folk. We elect them and send THEM to congress! They are called Republicans and Democrats!

When I was in school in political science classes, I was taught that in Congress there were Conservatives, Moderates, and Liberals. The titles of Republican and Democrat made no difference. The Conservatives and Liberals would seek out there own kind from amongst the elected representatives and senators to support their causes and bills. It mattered not whether it was a Republican or Democrat who was approached it only mattered if it was a conservative or liberal. Moderates were the ones who could be swayed one way or another and help make up a majority of support one way or another. As I was taught, a Liberal was one who wanted change in the way the government was being handled and a Conservative was one who wanted things to stay the way they were. Today a Conservative is a Republican and a Liberal is going to Hell and taking the country with them, otherwise known as a Democrat.

What we have in this country now is a yelling match and a war between Conservative Republicans and Democrats who are labeled as “The Liberals.” I, for one, am a Moderate AND a Democrat by Registration. Our good Utah Representative in the House, Jim Matheson, seems to be a Conservative Democrat. He is so Conservative that I don’t know how he calls himself a Democrat at all! I liked the way he talked and spoke and saw him as the best of the candidates and voted for him. I get his emails these days and he seems to follow Republican leadership in the house and not Democratic. I am very disappointed in him. As a Moderate, I support and vote for whomever attracts me and sounds the most like the way I think. Sometimes that is a Democrat and sometimes that is a Republican, or even a Libertarian, etc. I vote on the issues, not on the party.

The polarization in this country is spurred on by the “religious right” which, admittedly is losing influence, but the monsters they created are going strong, still muckraking and blowing things out of proportion. Stalin and his thugs worked the Russian revolution by pretending to represent the common people and called themselves the Bolsheviks meaning “The Majority” while calling the rest of the people Mensheviks, meaning “The Minority.” In reality the Conservatives and Moderates in the country were a much larger percent of the population. The Bolsheviks succeeded because they shouted so loudly and were so violent that the name they made for themselves clouded out the truth of issues and independent opinion. When they were done, the common people came to realize the mistake they had made and were imprisoned behind an iron curtain of tyranny and despotism. Now, Conservatives are doing pretty much the same thing in shouting so loudly and pretending to represent the majority opinion on every issue with big money and prestige being wielded in their defense. We need more civility and calm discussion in this country. I don’t know how we will do that as long as we have Republicans trying to undermine the bi-partisan climate which was proposed by President Obama.

What can we do to get this country back on track and off of the shouting match?

"World's Without Number"

The universe is billions of trillions of miles in every direction and the number of planets is at least as many. We are here to develop, endure, experience and BECOME! God is great. If he wanted to he could put each one of us on our own planet and act as a gardener to each of us. He could teach us, test us, love us, and bless us. We could become all that we could....almost.

Instead God put each of us on this one tiny planet and gave us instruction and commandment to love, serve, and help one another. He did not put us here to criticise, condemn, or otherwise isolate each other. We are all here together and we are told we will not get off this planet alive. We also will not get off this planet without making mistakes, or needing help of one kind or another. We are here to bless one another and encourage one another while we all grow together.

I have found that the word "relationship" has so much meaning and importance in this world. It is so important to find the right friends to enjoy and share life with, helping each other. When you need a doctor it is so important to have one that you already have a good relationship with. He does best when he knows you and all about you, cares about you and is sensitive to your feelings, and outlook. The mechanic who works on your car is best when he is one who is just not interested in making money or finding things he can fix on your vehicle. He has to care about the vehicle that you drive and your needs for that vehicle. He needs to like and/or respect you and want to be on your side in your troubles and challenges with your vehicle. Even the church and congregation you attend needs to be one you can trust, love, and support 100%.

Why? Each of those people, institutions, agencies, or groups need to be or are in a postition to influence you. You need to know them well enough to have confidence in and knowledge of them so that you know when and in what areas you should ask for or accept their advice. From the other perspective, each of us needs to desire to love, support, serve our companions, neighbors and stewardships. We need to work on learning about each other and our talents, crafts and callings. We need to develop relationships of trust and service to each other and have a paramount desire to do our best.....do our best for each other.

Too many of us don't do well in making choices of friends, or service providers. We need more quality and pride in our work in this country. We need more righteousness in our dealings with each other. We need more transparency in our activities.....more forgiveness, more acceptance of differences in each other.

The key is relationships. If you are in a good relationship with all the qualities right within it, then the influence will flow. You will influence and be influenced. you will know that your friends, relatives, and others around you and with whom you deal care about you and want to do their best for you. You will know that they care about YOUR concern and service. What can we do to bring this about? Commitment to each other. May those who read this blog entry know that I have that commitment and concern for them. I will do my best and I DO love those who seek for me to care about them, and I want them to care about me, as well.

Why am I a Mormon?

I am said to be a convert. That means that I was baptized into the Church as an adult, but we are told that we will not know if we are truly converted until we are across the veil (after death) and the Holy Spirit of Promise (Eph 1:13-14) tells us “Well done, thou good and faithful servant.” Until then we are only trying to follow our Savior ever more perfectly until we either get it right or we die.

In the Church we have a scripture that reads:

“For I will forgive you of your sins with this commandment…that you remain steadfast in your minds in solemnity and the spirit of prayer in bearing testimony to all the world of those things which are communicated unto you. Therefore, “go ye into all the world” and unto whatsoever place ye cannot go ye shall go ye shall send, that the testimony may go from you into all the world unto all the world unto every creature.” (D&C 84: 60-62)

I have received this scripture as the word of the Lord unto me and it came with power in an overwhelming witness of what the Lord expected of me for all my life. So in that spirit I express the following:

Why am I a Mormon? Because of spiritual experiences and scriptural evidences associated with the Church that told me I needed to be one. I was drawn to become a member of this Church (John 6:44)

1) Matt 7:15-20 (“By their fruits ye shall know them”)

My sister and I are direct opposites. As we grew up, she was aggressive and loud and a bit of a bully. When she married we all watched her bully and henpeck her husband. We were appalled but thought we could do nothing. She joined the Church and I went to visit her expecting her to be as she always was. Too my surprise her spirit was different, her voice was different and her home was completely different. The gospel had changed her and her family completely. They now exemplified the perfect Christian home.

2) Eph 2:19-20, 4:11-13 (Officers-“for the perfecting of the saints,…..until we all come into the unity of the faith)

I have studied churches with lay ministries, like the Mormon Church and I see that the best leaders, administrators, and the best spiritual motivators are in this church. The youth programs are remarkable in their ability to influence and keep youth on track, sending thousands on volunteer, unpaid, 2 year missions each year. The programs of welfare, employment, and building are the envy of many organizations and governments in the world.

3) Moro 10:3-5; John 17:3 (Read, pondered and Prayed about the Book of Mormon)

The first thing the Missionaries have you do when you start to investigate the Church is to start reading the Book of Mormon and praying about its teachings. I read the book and everything else the missionaries gave me to read. I studied all that and have continued to study for the last 32 years of my Church membership. Over the years I have continued to read, study, teach, and live its teachings. Jesus in John 17:3 said “If any man will do his will he shall know of the doctrine, whether it be of God, of whether I speak of myself.” I know the Book of Mormon and the teachings of the Church are true and the teachings of Christ for our day.

4) I Cor 2:13-14 (The Spirit can teach us what the mortal mind will not understand)

Since becoming a member of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints, my study of the scriptures has opened a whole new world of understanding and a closeness to God. I often feel my prayers are miraculously answered in understandings and wisdom that I know is not of myself or my own understanding.

5) John 17:3 (This is life eternal, that they might know thee the only true God, and Jesus Christ whom thou hast sent)

Studying and living the gospel as taught by the Church has helped me to come to know God and Jesus Christ in new and special ways that I never experienced as a member of any other Church. Not only that, but I feel that God knows ME better (Gen 18: 17-19) and we are closer than we have ever been because of this Church.

6) Luke 10: 1-2, 17; James 5: 13-15 (Priesthood Experience)

After I was baptized into the Church, I was ordained under the hands of authorized servants of the Lord and commissioned to teach what I had been taught and what I had experienced in my own life to be true. I was also told to lay hands on the sick and afflicted and to heal them of their infirmities. I was later sent out on a mission to teach the gospel and administer in the ordinances thereof. Since then I have experienced priesthood power in my own life and I have laid hands on the sick and they have recovered. I have been able to bless people saying and knowing things that only they could have known. In doing so I have experienced the connection between heaven and earth and I have felt and know the mind and will of God much better. It is a marvelous thing to me.

7) Amos 3:7 (Surely the Lord God will do nothing but he will reveal it unto his servants, the prophets)

As I have listened to the teachings of our leaders of the Church, especially the president, whom we sustain as prophet, seer, and revelator, I have seen the effect of the voice of the Lord. Sometimes we hear “Thus saith the Lord” and other times we only feel it. There have been times when I thought “This cannot be the Lord’s will in this man’s teachings” but when I spend time in prayer I receive my answer that it is indeed the mind and will of the Lord and I am altogether turned from my previous opinion and can not even entertain that I might have been right. I know this church is true because of our Prophet’s teachings, the experience of the priesthood I hold, the Gift of the Holy Ghost in revealing things and helping me to understand scripture, The Book of Mormon, the organization and fruits the Church exhibits, and because I have previously received an absolute witness (before baptism) that these things are true. I invite all to investigate, study and pray about these things and promise them that they too, like I, may find out for themselves that the Gospel has been restored and the voice of God is once more heard from the heavens saying “This is my beloved son, Jesus Christ, hear him.”

Not the Faith of my Fathers

Being a Christian means to me that I have an example in Jesus Christ and a way of life outlined in scripture. Those things bring me closer to the spirit and enable me to be in closer harmony with Heaven and Earth. I am highly into being spiritual and feeling God's will and understanding by his point of view. just because a church teaches a certain thing doesn't make it true and just because SOME Christians do wrong things doesn't mean that being a Christian is wrong. You can experience God's truth and understand God's ways and thus have a spiritual life that is fulfilling, meaningful, and wonderful. I have tried life without Christianity and with it. I definitely ly prefer "with it" I too have studied all kinds of world religions and although I respect them all, I am committed to Christianity.

What is Immoral?

Immoral: Not moral, not conforming to moral law. Wickedness, sexual impurity, unchastity, depravity.

“Im/moral”

Im = a form of the prefix word “in”
-- before b, m, and p prefix words change N to M.
-- (1) not, opposite of
-- as in “imbalance” = “not in balance”
-- as in “impossible” = “not possible”

-- (2) in, within
-- as in “imbibe” = “drinking in” (bibe, from beber “to drink)
-- as in “impart” = “to give another part in” something

Moral = right conduct, what is right and wrong, ethics, manners (from “mano” from the hand, hence the way of “handling things”) customs…conforming to those accepted societal standards or norms

Latin: (moralis) = of manners, custom
From Indo-European: Mo/ma = desire strongly

Cicero was said to have used the word to translate the Greek word “Ethikos” (ethics). It descended to English and other Romance and Germanic languages alike.

French, Spanish, Portuguese = Moral
Italian = Morale
German = Moralisch
Dutch = Moraal
English and Scandinavian = Moral

A cognate is the word “Mod” = Mood (mind, heart, courage) in other words, “what is in your heart to do? What do you have the courage to do?” Later it took on the form of “emotion” Moral shows the switch between D & R in a word as the spoken language evolves.

Spirituality VS Religious

I believe that spirituality and religious faith are not mutually exclusive. I believe that they have to go hand in hand. i have been spiritual since the age of 7 or 8, and have had many spiritual experiences and came to know my God in that way. Then as a teenager I found a church who taught me many things. I loved that church but I didn't leave my own spirituality. The Church gave me structure and direction and guidance, explaining to me the spiritual feelings I had had all my life. If I only had the Church I would feel disturbed when I see hypocrisy in my chosen church. Instead I just lean more on my spiritual experiences and appreciate what I have learned from those who have taught me. I try to be humble in my own life, love those around me and tolerate those who are different and perhaps negative. If I have to choose i would rely on my personal spiritual experiences and color them with the teachings and truths in my church experience.

Suicidal Thoughts

For anyone who is befriending someone who speaks of ending life, it is absolutely essential that they understand and can feel compassion for those who may be feeling on a downward spiral of life or an increasing desire to end their lives. As a child growing up I could never think of doing anything to myself that would hurt or make me die. It was something I feared for one reason or another. Then, as I was taught the gospel I learned that prematurely ending one’s life was a sin and would come with consequences across the veil which might not only disqualify one for blessings but would lead to pain and suffering in regret and realization. No matter how sad or uncomfortable life got I could not consider such an alternative.

Before 1984 all that was true and a guidepost of my life. That year was when my life was not only turned upside down but was made meaningless. Things began to change. Things happened in my life that led me to such a downward spiral as I described above.

I was so devastated that God could let all this happen to me and I felt that God had failed me and everyone had abandoned me. My life was over and everything I believed about the gospel and how things worked was destroyed. As I spiraled down in emotions and self esteem a blackness came over my soul and mind. I did not want anything but to die and I had the prescriptions in my medicine box to do the job. I was not trying to get someone to help me, I did not want to hurt anyone by my death, I was not trying to make a social or other statement. I just wanted to end it all and I was going to do it. I had friends that supported me who were critical instruments in helping me. As the months continued to pass on and my tolerance for what was going on in my life increased I learned to live with it and kept putting off my death until I didn’t need to do it.

Some people choose to end their life as a unsuccessful or successful plea for someone to take an interest in them and be by their side and help them deal with their pain or lonliness, or just be there for moral support. You deal with that plan by letting them understand that you WILL be there and you DO understand, and you value them and their life. You will help them to stand it, and to live.

Some people feel that they have been wounded by someone or someones. Their death will hurt those people back and make them feel wounded as they have wounded that person. This is a counseling situation where interpersonal relations and help in working out the bad thoughts, feelings, and perceptions does the trick.

Some people are going to show this person or that, or prove a point to the world or some people in it by their death. They need someone to understand and to hear their complaint and help them deal with the source of their pain. Friendship and talk can do the job if it is careful and intelligently monitored.

Mine and others is a blackness that needed spiritual counseling and fellowship. I needed and I think others like me needed to not only have feelings identified and interpreted but also I needed help in feeling not so alone, not so abandoned, and not so wronged. I needed to be helped to see that with the help of my friends (I had no help from family) I could not only survive but also progress beyond it. I felt like the church abandoned me. I thought I was in the right and they should have been on my side instead of helping the evil guy persecute me….but they weren’t. It was a very dark and bad time for me.

Some "friends" tend to take the attitude that this is just being stupid and the person should snap out of it. Other friends try to shame the person into realizing what a wrong thing they are doing and that they will be damned to hell forever. Still others talk about what it will do to those they leave behind (a variation on the shame tactic). None of these is a valid support for someone in trouble. We need to feel that we have someone there who will stand by us and help us to be strong. OR we need to have someone to show us reality in that we are making a mountain out of a mole hill that together we can handle. Anyway...it stems from a feeling of being alone, of being threatened or being valued so little or being of so little worth that the world would be better off without us.

As a great psychologist told me....all these reasons sound like twisted thinking. That is true! But you can't solve these kinds of problems by yourself. You need to have someone who can see reality more accurately than you can and be someone whom you trust, respect, and believe more than anyone else in your world.

Something to think about.